Friday, September 23, 2011
Our Big Decision~ Part 1
About a year and a half ago I started praying for my family.
Don't get me wrong, I've always prayed for Scott and the kids, but this was different. My heart was heavy...unsettled. I couldn't really express how I was feeling at the time, I just knew something was changing. It was this stirring in my soul that I had never experienced. It left me not really knowing how to pray so I very simply starting asking God for His will to be done. I needed to let go of my own thoughts and feelings, wants and desires and instead focus on His plan for our family. I prayed for Him to break our hearts for what breaks His. I wanted us to feel compassion for others like we had never felt before. I wanted His eyes so we could look at others the way that He does. I felt like we were just going through the motions of Christianity but not truly living like disciples of Christ. So I prayed...asking God to change us...and has he ever.
We've gone through a lot since I began praying that prayer.
Scott started working a second job...
A night job.
All night.
Five nights a week.
That made for a happy family.
Teenage girl drama.
Enough said.
The ups and downs of homeschooling.
Something I love and am so grateful for, but there are some days it's...well...
Hard
Inconvenient
Exhausting
Frustrating
Demanding
I'm out of adjectives so I'll stop, but you get the picture.
My crazy annoying health issues...I won't bore you with those. Let's just say since December we could have bought a car with what we've paid in co-pays...a nice car.
Extended family issues...another day...another post.
But the big one for me...the thing that I think God has used the most...the most painful thing I've ever gone through in my life, yet something that I have learned so much from and thank God for everyday...
My miscarriage.
Don't get me wrong, I've always prayed for Scott and the kids, but this was different. My heart was heavy...unsettled. I couldn't really express how I was feeling at the time, I just knew something was changing. It was this stirring in my soul that I had never experienced. It left me not really knowing how to pray so I very simply starting asking God for His will to be done. I needed to let go of my own thoughts and feelings, wants and desires and instead focus on His plan for our family. I prayed for Him to break our hearts for what breaks His. I wanted us to feel compassion for others like we had never felt before. I wanted His eyes so we could look at others the way that He does. I felt like we were just going through the motions of Christianity but not truly living like disciples of Christ. So I prayed...asking God to change us...and has he ever.
We've gone through a lot since I began praying that prayer.
Scott started working a second job...
A night job.
All night.
Five nights a week.
That made for a happy family.
Teenage girl drama.
Enough said.
The ups and downs of homeschooling.
Something I love and am so grateful for, but there are some days it's...well...
Hard
Inconvenient
Exhausting
Frustrating
Demanding
I'm out of adjectives so I'll stop, but you get the picture.
My crazy annoying health issues...I won't bore you with those. Let's just say since December we could have bought a car with what we've paid in co-pays...a nice car.
Extended family issues...another day...another post.
But the big one for me...the thing that I think God has used the most...the most painful thing I've ever gone through in my life, yet something that I have learned so much from and thank God for everyday...
My miscarriage.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Scott
Me
Ali Anne
Isabel Jane
Joaquin Christian
Lola Reese
My Blog List
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
The Fourth4 years ago
-
Where Am I?11 years ago
-
Now I Know My ABCs ~ Letter W11 years ago
-
the 2nd 1000 miles12 years ago
-
-
-
-
-
1 comments:
tears in my eyes AGAIN! thanks for sharing. you totally got this writing thing down........
Post a Comment